Tab 2
Parenting: Decisions, Schedule, Holidays, and Special Clauses
If you have kids, this is the longest tab. Pace yourself — the decisions here shape your family life for years.
Decision-making — joint, sole, or split
Joint decision-making (most common) means both of you decide on big things together. Sole means one parent has final say. Split means you divide by area: one of you leads on education, the other on medical, joint on religion. Joint works when you and the other parent can have civil conversations about the kids. Sole fits when one parent has historically made all the decisions, or when serious issues (substance, mental health, abuse) make giving the other parent decision power risky.
How decisions get made in each domain
For each area (education, health, religion, extracurricular) you pick: joint (you both have to agree), consult (one parent decides but talks to the other first), Party 1 decides, or Party 2 decides. Most people pick joint for big stuff and consult for medium stuff.
How you will communicate
Pick a structure: scheduled written updates with weekly check-ins (good when you can communicate but want structure), email every two weeks (more formal, good for high-conflict situations where you want a paper trail), phone as needed (casual), or combined — messages for logistics, email for formal matters.
The parenting schedule
Pick a template: primary residence with one parent (traditional setup, kids live with one parent most of the time), every other weekend (Friday after school to Sunday dinner plus a midweek visit), week-on/week-off (50/50, swap weekly — fits when you live close and the kids are 8+), 2-2-3 (50/50 with faster rotation, fits young kids and parents who live close), 5-2-2-5 (50/50 with longer stretches), or custom 4-week schedule (draw your own grid when no template fits).
Summer schedule
School-year schedules often fall apart in July and August. Options include equal split with two-week alternating blocks, alternating full weeks, or an extended block with one parent for a vacation followed by the regular schedule.
Pickup, dropoff, and transportation
Who drives, what time, where. The simpler the better. Common patterns: one parent does all driving (usually the parent ending their time), meet in the middle (common when parents live in different cities), or pickup from school (the parent starting their time picks up from school directly). Pick neutral exchange locations — the kid's school, a community centre, a coffee shop. Avoid "at my house" in high-conflict situations.
Holiday arrangements
For each statutory, religious, or family holiday you pick: alternating yearly (Party 1 gets Christmas Eve in odd years, Party 2 in even years), always with one parent (Mother's Day always with Mother), split in half (Christmas morning with one, afternoon with the other), or no specific arrangement (handled by the regular schedule). If you celebrate a holiday not in the preset list — Diwali, Eid, Lunar New Year, Vaisakhi, Hanukkah — add it as a custom holiday.
Special clauses
Optional add-ons that prevent common arguments. Right of first refusal (if you need a sitter for more than X hours, you offer the other parent first). Relocation restriction (cannot move with the kids more than X km without notice — default 50 km, 60 days). International travel consent (both parents must agree before either takes the kids out of the country). New partners (wait X months before introducing a new partner — most therapists recommend 6 months minimum). Social media (no posting kids' photos without consent). Other (custom).
Ready to start your agreement?
Use the calculator to estimate support, or start a guided Ontario separation agreement now.